Послания

Тази сутрин си мислих за хората в живота ни.....и най-вече за тези, които се появяват съвсем случайно и ей така, още по-неочаквано.....просто изчезват!!;-)

Чудех се защо се получава така, че има хора, които някакси присъстват, дори и да не са тук; други, които толкова осезаемо са наоколо, а всъщност хич ги няма; и третите, гореспоменатите странници, които един ден са толкова тук и сега, че направо не можеш да повярваш, а утре се изпаряват някъде толкова далеч, че дори и спомените за тях ти се струват от друго измерение..

Тези, най-първите, които ти остават другарчета завинаги, са ми най-любимите!!!
Пипи, онзи ден се замислих, че с теб вече близо 20 години си хортуваме;-))А с Митко със сигурност сме отпразнували сребърната сватба...Така де, този диалог с учителката в Английската забавачка си го спомням много добре:

- Слънчице, на колко си годинки?
- Ми аз съм на 3, ама мама каза да кажа, че съм на 4;-)




Добре де, от време на време тези любимите, и те изчезват, но тяхното изчезване си е просто едно "Пътуване в чужбина"..

Сега си мисля, че примерите със старите другарчета може би не са най-удачни. Ще кажете, с тях си прекарала много време, нормално е да са част от живота ти! Ами Оздрик? Едно направо извънземно запознанство (снощи си говорихме за Беглика с Ели и Аско...аз там наистина не знаех къде се намирам;-))), за което просто знам, че е от хубавите! А сме се виждали има няма 3 пъти...;-)))

А сега да си кажа за онези другите запознанства, които не ги обичам толкова много....
А се сещам за няколко!?!!???

Всичко много добре, до момента, в който усетиш, че всичкото е свършило. Ей така, без предупреждение;-) Мисля си дали по моите закони на Вселената, аз не съм си пожелала тези хора да изчезнат...? И сигурно е така. Но май има такива, които толкова много си пожелавам да са тук, пък тях ги няма...Хмм;-)

Яко дим....добре! Но от къде е странното усещане, че във връзката ми с тези духчета е имало едно послание, което аз не съм могла да разшифровам? Това май ме притиснява най-много.

Пожелавам си да се науча да ги подушвам кога ще се изпарят, за да мога да ги притисна в стената, да им изстискам посланията, признанията и каквото друго имат да казват и тогава чак да ги пусна да си върват!!

Защото обяснения и въпроси пост фактум на никого добро не правят;-)

Колкото по-малко недоразказани истории, толкова по-добре. Идвайте, добре сте дошли, но моля предавайте посланието, преди да си тръгнете...Защото така е възпитано!;-)

Аз пак по-обичам другите!;-)

Митко, Честит 30ти?! Рожден Ден!!! (малко предварително)! Oбичам те!
Неви

Freelancing?!

So, my marriage to H&M is slowly but surely coming to an end!
As I promised you last week, this definitely is "развод по взаимно съгласие";-) And 110% no hard feelings!

Actually, things worked out just perfect. I feel (for the first time ever!!) I had proper, proper closure!!

Now....., "closure" is something I have never been good at, especially when talking about relationships (I mean, it is all down to relationships, really?!...., so I've never been good at it. Full stop!)

Honestly, how many times have I left things unsaid...Tell me, is it so hard to say "finished, that's all folks, finito, the end!;-) "

For me, it was. But not anymore!!!

Yeah yeah, enough of congratulating myself;-) Yes, I am happy for how things worked out but now, there is a big question in everyone's heads, a question I am being asked all the time...and a question that I seem to ask myself even more often:

WHAT NEXT?

PEACE!;-) Well, how can I know what's going to happen? Is it worth spending today making plans of a tomorrow that might actually never come?!

Chances are, tomorrow will come and I agree, one should have some sort of an idea of the ideal future. And trust me, I do! My dreams are just so perfect, I know 250% (you see, 250 is a verrrrry big number!!!) HOW I want things to work out. And I know WHY I want them to work out this way.

And I know they will!!!!!!!... (my work now is to continue believing and to be very careful not to wish something else;-) Then the Universe will get confused, right?!!

One day, I dream of a beautiful house in the country, with a gorgeous man and 5 beautiful and healthy kids, an eco B&B and some freelancing work to keep me going (English lessons, translating, you name it;-))......And then, I dream of spending 2 months in the Himalayas...Well, darling, you have to sort your dreams out...I'm not saying that the two cannot happen, they most probably will but not at the same time!

Talking about dualities....I'll tell you a secret, I am born right on the Spring Equinox... so for me, balance is the key in life! I find balance, I've got it all!!!

Worrying and going over calculating how much money I can make giving private lessons is just going to attract me more worry...How much money? Enough! That's how much I want!! How much is enough? Enough is enough;-))))

You know, I named this whole thing "Freelancing"...Now, thinking about it, it should probably be called "Dreams" or even better "A morning prayer"....Next time, I'll tell you about religion.

By the way, I have been watching Zeitgeist...it's good, what do you think? Thank you Joro and Tamsin;-))

And finally, something totally unrelated but I know what I am on about, talking about closure and all! [Not my favourite version but it is especially this one that has a meaning here;-))]

Love, peace and light:
liaana

Mоите.....такъми;-)

So this is how it all began:

...

And now, it's my turn to show you one tiny bit more of my world...or actually, after having seen these next few pics, I reckon you might actually get to know me much, much better...

Tadaaaa, here it comes!


The wonderful world inside my flat:

INDIA

Somehow, I have a very strong connection with India.... I reckon living 2 minutes away from Ealing Road made all the difference;-)

Surely, there is no better place to start than Ganesha:





Here is an extract from my "Indian Gods and Goddesses" book:

"Ganesha - popularly known and easily recognised as the Elephant-God, is one of the most important deities of the Hindu pantheon. Ganesha is regarded as the personification of those qualities which surmount all difficulties. He is the god of success in life and its accompaniments like good living, prosperity and peace."

I was told by this Indian man that Ganesha will help me in all the new beginnings in my life!! And so he has been living in my bedroom for the past 3-4 years...(here is the secret, my dreams DO come true!;-)

You know, I have another Indian friend...Sai Baba. This is Manjula's Guru and the one worshipped by most Indian people round Wembley. Me?... I am just addicted to the incense, to the extreme that a few months ago, I ordered a whole box of it online...You got it, this is where the divine smell in my flat comes from... purifying the body and soul;-)







OM SHANTI!






Keeping up with the Eastern tradition, I have to show you my Tibetan prayer flags.






Traditionally, prayer flags are used to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. The flags do not carry prayers to 'gods,' a common misconception, rather the Tibetans believe the prayers and mantras will be blown by the wind to spread the good will and compassion into all pervading space. Therefore, prayer flags are thought to bring benefit to all.

By hanging flags in high places the "Wind Horse" will carry the blessings depicted on the flags to all beings. As wind passes over the surface of the flags which are sensitive to the slightest movement of the wind, the air is purified and sanctified by the Mantras.

The prayers of a flag become a permanent part of the universe as the images fade from exposure to the elements. Just as life moves on and is replaced by new life, Tibetans renew their hopes for the world by continually mounting new flags alongside the old. This act symbolizes a welcoming of life changes and an acknowledgment that all beings are part of a greater ongoing cycle.

OM MANI PADME HUM!










Something I found recently in a Tea House in Sofia...still in discovery stage;-)

SOUTH OF FRANCE - my dream!!



DRESSING UP



Now, here I have a few things to say. Dressing up is one of favourite things and I must admit I miss it... Kremy, is it too late for another Pimps & Hookers, Doctors & Nurses and MDs & PAs party?;-)))








FAIRIES AND THE ANGELS

Most of you have already met my Oracle cards...But if you haven't, they are amazing and definitely deserve a place amongst my most special belongings!







MY CREATION BOX - whatever is in this box IS!!




LOVE...




Monnio, your turn now to show us your "такъмки";-)

Ps: yeah, yeah, yeah...it's all good giving English lessons and all, but I desperately need to learn a little bit more about HTML....who's going to be my teacher (that's the question;-)?;-)

И преди известно време в Италия....

Вчера, на път за вкъщи....

Day 3

Whatever feelings you have within you are attracting your tomorrow.

Worry attracts more worry. Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness.

AND...

Joy attracts more joy. Happiness attracts more happiness. Peace attracts more peace. Gratitude attracts more gratitude. Love attracts more love.

Your job is an INSIDE one. To change your world, all you have to do is to change the way you feel inside. How easy is that?!!!;-))

A search for Significance

Пред вкъщи.....

.....тази сутрин;-)

100 Things I am Grateful For

OK, I might be very good at preaching but can I "walk my talk"?;-) Here they are:

The 100 Things I am Grateful For:

I am grateful that:

1. I am here
2. I am alive (+ kicking)
3. I am fairly sane
4. I write this blog
5. I have a wonderful and, from today, squeeky clean flat
6. Mum + Dad are OK
7. I have amazing friends
8. I hear the birds
9. I wake up smiling
10. I go to bed smiling
11. I look at the sun smiling
12. I've had a fair share of travelling
13. I met some great people
14. I've tasted some great foods
15. I can laugh
16. I can cry
17. I know what it is to be in love
18. I dream
19. I live in a beautiful country
20. I've lived in other beautiful countries
21. I went to Kinomania when I was in Френската
22. Hristo taught me how to do fake cine tickets
23. I went to Lukovo with Pesho
24. I've been to Paris and fallen in love with it
25. I did a great trip round Europe last December
26. I enjoy what I do for a living (yes, now I do!)
27. I had a great lunch with Katia and Veli the other day
28. I bought Doreen's Fairy cards and they are beautiful
29. I put up my posters on the walls, finally (Sashence, tough luck, baby!;-)))
30. I listen to great music
31. I read great books
32. I learn every day
33. I draw every so often
34. Even more often I dance
35. I wrote to Filip and he wrote back
36. Mariana
37. Sasho
38. Eva
39. Slava
40. Joro
41. Nasko, Joro 2, Eva 2
42. Veli, Sluncho, Katia, Ivan, Asko i Eli
43. Simo
44. Angel
45. I am grateful that the Universe and the Angels are protecting me
46. I am grateful that I can see
47. Nadenichkite i Zelenceto v Munich
48. Heather and our trip to Russia
49. Nomads
50. Tamsin
51. Magic, good magic
52. Lukavica, my grandma and grandad
53. Sharon
54. Moira
55. Grant
56. Alek
57. Silvie: I LOVE YOU!
58. Corks and the Brazilian Saturday nights
59. Henrik and Negar
60. Crazy dancing at the Bulgarian City Club Balls
61. The parties we had with Kremy at 2 Frognal
62. West Hampstead
63. Hampstead
64. Starbucks's Chai Tea Latte
65. Dan i Ioannka taking me to live with them at 15 Цариградско
66. Vlado and our walk in Dragalevci
67. The countless walks in Южния парк
68. River side
69. Butchers
70. The country pubs in UK
71. Tom
72. My Uni years and the time I spent in France
73. Krum, Mitko and our drive to Frankfurt
74. My trip to Frankfurt the following year, sleeping at Stanstead airport all night
75. Meeting Glenn on the no 13 night bus going back to St John's Wood
76. Regent's park
77. Studying in the park
78. Margaritka and her snowboard, avtomati and shoes
79. Katarino
80. Bobi taking off her jumper to be left in her swimsuit in the middle of the kruchmata v Bansko
81. So, do you go to massage? (to the only Bansko taxi driver) Ahhh, why not? You should go!
82. Laughing my pants off after stealing a fork in Vienna's Castle (I promised never to attempt to write in German again)
83. My 2 week trip in Italy and France, ALONE!
84. Nice and the little Cote d'Azur villages
85. Voya and our chats
86. Great Vegan food, 41 Alexandra Road style
87. Colin
88. LOVE
89. GOD
90. LIFE
91. LAUGHTER
92. The Internet and the amazing pictures you can find there
93. U tube
94. Hijo de la Luna
95. My Spanish teacher
96. And the other one
97. Being myself
98. Being brave
99. Being grateful

100. Being ALIVE!

Day 2

To change your life fast, use gratitude to shift your energy. When you put all of your energy into gratitude, you will see miracles take place in your life.

To change things quickly, commit to writing 100 things you are grateful for each day, until you see the change. And FEEL the gratitude. Your power is in the FEELING that you put into the worlds of gratitude.

EuRoad Trip December 2008

Overland from London to Sofia in 8 days!

It was a quiet evening, sometime in November, when Joro called me on Skype...I had not spoken to him for ages and suddenly here he was - searching to buy a car and drive back to Sofia...London to Sofia in a car?! Sounds amazing...

- "I am coming!!!!"
- "Where?"
- "Coming with you...Yey!!!" Crazy Nevi at her best!!!

I booked my flight to London the very next second and next thing I remember, I was meeting him for a peaceful afternoon in Camden and a big shop at Fresh & Wild.

In a few days we were leaving, in his beautiful Renault Laguna..and we had Jane to show us the way;-)(Jane is the Tomtom lady, we liked her the best..really, we got fed up with Yoda after a few left turns;-))

So, our first morning, a Friday morning it was, we set off and got the SeaFrance ferry to Calais - I must admit I was a little nervous doing the ferry and all after last year but I had so much fun. Joro made all the difference, he was really...just so relaxed...

Now thinking about our trip, there are soo, soo many things I wish to write about but I reckon I'll only mention our best moments and the most memorable ones..

Can't really forget getting into Paris, quite tired after the day, and driving into the supermarket's car park - well, Jane, this time you got it badly wrong!!! and having to pay 3 EUR just to drive through it...Works out we are not the only ones who had done this...;-)))

Week-end in Paris was cool, Alex came to visit, I met up with Hristo and Peter...Ico, I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then, Monday morning, bright and early, off to Munich. We stopped in Strasbourg on the way, did a quick visit into HSBC and then I was just so tired I honestly don't remember much...An 1 hour sleep at a petrol station somewhere in Germany and the Art Hotel in Munich...

What was next? The beautiful drive to Vienna, the Alpes, oh man, amazing!!!!!!!
Arriving in Vienna was great, we were in the Red Light District...again!?!??? There must be a theme with me and Red Light Districts, I don't know....But honestly, Germany and Austria were full of sex shops...Wundabaaa (or however the hell you write this is Germanski;-)))

Vienna was cold, it was raining a lot and our visit to the Castle (the Shaunbrun one, I promise never to attempt to write anything in German again...)was a little bit quick and hasty but I will never forget the wait outside the Bulgarian Embassy for Joro's pasavan.....

Yes, he forgot his ID card at Bobi's place in Paris and it was 4.55pm when he finally got his new one...(and yes, the Embassy was closing at 5pm)...Nothing unusual...

From Vienna, we were on a bit of a down..I had some issues in Budapest and when we arrived in Belgrade I was positively sick and a big pain. But OMG, Slavia hotel, ace!!!!!!! So 70s, so old style, Voya - the whole experience was surreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday evening and we arrive at Strelbishte, I am knackered, Joro is probably pissed off but we are happy and we love each other - I just spoke to him and all is good, thank God!!!! And now onto some pictures;-)))

PS: Watch out Borissovo!!!!!

CCC ( Communication, Communication, Communication)

As Gahl put in, this is the "Location, Location, Location" mantra in the relationships world. That's any relationship! AND I COULD NOT AGREE MORE!!!

To cut a long story short, my simple message here is : " People from all worlds, КОМУНИКИРАЙТЕ СИ!"

x

Филип

Multiculturalism;-)

Ace!!!!

Vive the French!

Home Sweet Home

I knew exactly what to expect - flying with a bad cold is never a good idea...And now I am officially half deaf and in bed fighting the "бъцилите" as Ioannka called them this morning...But it feels good!! Well, not the cold (or the flu, God forbid!?) but the fact that I am Home!!

And I feel this really is the beginning of something good...I walked out of the H&M's office last Tuesday evening and I said "Good bye" - I finally admitted it to myself, to Anders and all my other colleagues...

Yes, it's never easy to say "Good bye" to more than 7 years of your life (it really is that long! one way or another, I have been part of their lives and they have been part of mine...Развод ми дай, развод ми дай..;-)))

But seriously, do you remember me walking into the Wembley Office, a 21 year-old auditor on her first job, just 3 days after passing her exams...little did she know that as a nearly 29 year-old, she would still be employed by them...Well, I kind of knew it;-)))

Now though, I know that we have both done the right thing...A few days ago, I was talking to Simo, who seemed surprised, to say the least, that we have reached a mutual decision. And it was!!! A decision to part ways as friends, with a very positive feeling, after the rollercoaster of the last few months....

Looking into the near future, I see my life in Bulgaria, I see lots of fun, nature, eco-villages or to be truthful they really are just hotels, Batak, Zelin, a nice man and 5 kids, playing in the huge garden outside my country house....Well, dreams do come true...

This reminded me of Mariana's favourite song...Thank you so much for waiting for me at the airport. Your smile made such a big difference!!!! And the spinach банички were soooo delicious!!!







DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE!

Holiday Inn Brent Cross

What can I say?;-)

Alex's mum

So it's finally out in the open...She did not like me to start with, noone measures up to her but being so judgemental and rude...I had enough!!!! I am in fucking tears right now, shaking, my head is spinning and it bloody hurts...it hurts soo much!!!!!

So, you don't respect your parents, you are trash! Am I? really? NO!!!!!

I am who am I and I am doing what I feel is right...It is not easy now, it really is extremely, painfully awful but it is so much better that way! so, so, soooooo much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Visit to Jefferis Wing

Every so often a girl's gotta do what she has to do!

So this morning, primarily due to lack of anything better to do, I packed my bag and headed towards Jefferis Wing....now watch this...Jeferris Wing is not some fancy London sightseeing attraction, but the name of the Sexual Health Clinic at St Mary's Hospital.

This Walk-In Clinic is the closest to Sussex Gardens (or for those of you who do not know, the other name for London's Red Light District) so a visit there is always well worth it...if only for the ladies you inevitably meet.

So I get there and I go to the Main Reception - have I been there before? Yes, please;-)) Do I know where to go? Yes, please;-))) Now I sit in the Female waiting room, waiting to be called in. Every patient @ Jefferis Wing is assigned an unique ID...I'm F1203**. It is still early so not many ladies there to keep me company.

After 20 minutes or so, a very sweet Indian girl calls my number...I walk into the Consulting Room and surprise, I will be examined by 2 doctors today...2 for the price of 1, how exciting!!!



















The consultation starts with an assessment of my sex history - who have I had sex with? male or female? how many partners in the last 3 months? any of them not from Western Europe? (well, yes, Bulgaria is Eastern Europe;-)), what type of sex...God, I hope Anders's daughter is not reading this!!!!....any unprotected sex? well.......

And then we come onto my favourite question...have I been tested for HIV? No, and please, I do not want to be....The other doctor, who by the way, is male and quite handsome, suddenly gets alarmed...Why do I not want to be tested for HIV? Do I think I will test positive? No, I do not think anything, I am just not ready...So, we leave this as a big question mark and something for me to consider...and I go back to the Waiting Room to wait for my Gynae exam...

Now, they are here, black, white, russian, english...you just recognise them. Two of them are chatting and laughing. I immediately warm up to them and the feeling is reciprocated...They look at me and smile...I am just a cute girl, right?;-)Then they tell me it is always a long wait...I must have been fidgeting and looking nervous..Hell yes, I am, it is not the best feeling, I promise...

Then Dr. Big Smile calls me again, now he will examine me and feel my insides and there will be a nurse and the other female doctor watching. Niiiicee!!!!!!

Now relax, relax, take deep breaths....You are doing ever so well!! Just two more swaps, relax, that's it...nearly finished!!!

Thank God!!! Now a final wait and then I am done. When they call me for the third time, they let me know that for now, there is nothing to worry about...but there are the chlamydia and gonorea tests still to be done?!!!.........And I am again being told that I should consider being tested for HIV and Hep C..OK, I promise to think about it.

He gives me a cream that I can use if irritation occurs, all free. Long live the NHS!!!

Phewwwww, now fingers crossed for the tests to come back OK. I am left pondering on that HIV question...I wash my hands with the antiseptic cream...and i head back home...

What a wonderful morning! And tomorrow's Valentine's Day...surely, my visit this morning, love, sex...they are all interconnected!;-)

I love you
From a good girl, who today did the right thing...wait for when I brave myself and do the other one;-)


Ps: You know, I was going to write all about Stockholm and add my story to the lovely pictures I loaded the other day but the inspiration is gone...it will just have to be kept private;-)

10022009

This feels like a magic number...A new beginning, a blessing, the light!

Stockholm suburbs fairytale

Travelling and Stockholm

Sleep

Just how important is a good night's sleep? Very, very, very, very....important!!! Vital, necessary, compulsory, needed...every single night!!!

Since arriving in Stockholm, I spend my days indoors, in the office early in the morning, in the hotel at night.....The room that I was staying in had the driest air ever and so, so hot!!!.... on top of all this, the bloody window opened into an internal courtyard...so no fresh air again...?!! And I just had to do something about it

At 2am, I was practically going crazy, sweating, no sleep...So I came down to Reception and asked them to put me in a room with a window, for god sake!!!! Yes, I already did ask them the very first night but they said all the rooms in the same category are facing inside...Well, I could not care less...Even if I had to pay for the upgrade myself, I was moving rooms...I had already packed everything, yes, at 2am and was not going back...Even if I had to sleep in the corridor....

So what can they do, facing a mad Bulgarian.....they changed me and helas, bliss!!!!!! Only 5 hours of sleep on the soft (dont start me again) Swedish beds but at least some sleep. I feel I had battled with the dragons all night....Thank God its Friday!!!!

I love you,
liaana

PS: And can you see how frustrated and tired I was when I wrote this...Its now after lunch and I feel so much better...cant wait to go back to my new room, with the window!! yeyyy


















Can you see my hotel? Yes, one of those windows was the infamous one I was talking about, beautiful internal courtyard, but I like my room now much, much better!!!

Due back in Sofia on 16th Feb:)

Jivot i zdrave:)))

Sverige

The Capital is Closed...Long live the Capital...I am finally in Stockholm!!

London - Day Four

This is still London, sunny-ish...St Catharine's Docks, more sites and a very special gate indeed - the back door of Buckingham palace (the one Lizzy uses to get out shopping;-))) Then Faubourg 36, a French movie a l'Institut Francais;-) Et voila, who would have known that the next morning we would be in Winter Wonderland?!!....;-)